what to do...

My heart is breaking and I've been on the verge of tears all day today.
Sorry to be a downer, but I have to let you all know.
...at least this isn't over a boy.

It's a broken heart over freshmen, and over my small group.
Last week Jono and I reached out to McConnell with free cupcakes, cookies, frisbees and info about InterVarsity and our Bible study. We met some cool kids, and one girl was seriously excited to hear about our small group!
Last week was also the first large group for IV this year, and eight upperclassmen signed up for the Bible study I'm getting to co-lead this semester. I personally know seven, and they are each incredible; three are girls from my small group last year.
Tonight was the second large group, and one upperclassman signed up.

...no freshmen have actually signed up for our small group.

God rekindled my love for freshmen last semester.
And in the last week I realized how mixed class small groups can provide an incredible and unique communtiy for each member.

I'm still excited for my small group, I just feel with all my heart that God is going to do wonderful things in and through it this year that will change lives.
And I can't believe the amazing group of upperclassmen God is filling the small group up with.

BUT
I'm longing for freshmen to come into the group who may come to know and fall in love with Jesus this year.
...who may grow as missional/active Christians.
...who may become leaders in the global church.
...who may find a community to be a part of for the rest of their college careers.

The more I reflect on it, I somehow get the feeling this is intercessing...?hmmm.
or maybe this is a time of "sticking in the mud" for me?

God loves Las Vegas

During my first trip to Las Vegas, Nevada I learned a few things:
- how to walk with my chin up (literally, since glancing at the ground meant views of naked women on fliers)
- Michael Buble is a fantastic performer
- Naturally Seven is a cool band
- (most importantly) People are people loved by God no matter what the world labels them.
a list actually formed in my head in the style of 'Horton Hears a Who'
A person's a person...
no matter how poor,
no matter how wealthy,
no matter how dumb,
no matter how smart,
no matter how crazy,
no matter how sane,
no matter how rude,
no matter how polite.
And no matter how broken; ALL people are broken.

Summertime Bloggie

[I've been meaning to jot this list down here for the last month and a half]

here's a few quick comparrisons between my split summer in China & America

1. China: involuntarily waking up w/ Christy at 4:30am the first few days of orientation

America: getting a total of 12 hours of sleep the 1st 4days of returning; a 2week recovery for jet lag

2. China: evening walks, lunches, and a park trip with my Chinese bff, Vivian

America: weekly emails between Vivian and I. Ooo, and doing random things with my bff in Phoenix

3. China: watching 'Valentine's Day' with my first Chinese roomie, cozied up in 1 bed to see the laptop screen

America: watching 'Eclipse' a month after its release, 3 of us snuggled in the back of a pathfinder to see the drive-in movie screen

4. China: filled with joy while crafting to complete gifts for my Chinese friends

America: happy to spend hours crafting to make birthday gifts& a scrapbook of Chiner

5. China: Sabaths with the American students

America: visits with NAU friends

6. China: avoiding nasty internet cafes filled with cigarette smoke, gamers, and slow computers that hated my gmail account

America: avoiding using my family's slow desktop compy to spend less time in my parents' messy room

7. China: trying to ride a child's 2 wheel swivel board and completely failing at it

America: longboarding to my Phoenician bff's and loving it

8. China: being nervous about giving a presentaion in front of culture class

America: being nervous about giving a Sunday talk/sermon for the youth group

9. China: frying under the sun at the Yellow River

America: trying to tan in the backyard

10. China: splashing around in the Yellow river

America: swimming in our backyard pool

11. China: resisting the urge to eat ice cream every day

America: resisting the urge to eat an avacado or gaucamole every day

12. China: organizing my suitcase

America: organizing my parents' kitchen cabinets and closets

13. China: juggling spending time with two sets of classmates, past &present roomates, and the bff

America: juggling spending time with my family, 3 sets of high school friends, college friends, and the bff

14. China: re-reading Esther and Luke

America: for some reason or another, struggling to re-read Mark a chapter a day

...there are of course a billion others but if you haven't stopped reading this list of mine already I'm sure you're ready to!

Nee How

...because that's how to pronounce 'hello' in Chinese.

I have returned from Chiner; as most of you know my 6 week trip ended last week.

"How was you trip? What was China for you in one word?" <---that's what I've been asked a lotta times these past several days. I don't find the question annoying like staff said we all probably would in debrief. It's just a little difficult to answer succinctly, especially the 'one word' question. In fact, maybe I do find that question a little frustrating.

And, in case you were wondering, the trip was incredible and hopefully life changing. Yes, I added "hopefully" because it could easily not be. I learned and experienced things that I could use to change the way I think and live, but it would be pretty simple to not apply those things to the rest of my life. Now I understand that I have to CHOOSE to make my China trip a life changing one.

To be 'respectful', I will be sensitive with what I type and post for all of internetland to see. So for the really good stuff, ask me personally and you shall recieve. I just had to acknowledge at least a little of how great God made my trip in this bloggy of mine :)

...ps_ Totally unrelated, but guess what.
Guess.



My laptop died.
Did you guess right?
It won't turn on any more, and instead just flashes it's lights a little and makes the start up noise before shutting itself off. Also, my family just got wi-fi for the house. :/ not so cool.
For now though, I have the luxury of sharing my little bro's spiffy new laptop :)

You're gonna be Pop-U-lar

Since I've started my blog I sometimes wonder what makes a blog famous.

need an example?

Julie & Julia, duh. I won't explain the concept of the movie/ book. Another example can be found in the semi-recent episode of House guest starring the girl who played 'Donna' on That 70's Show, when she blogs while almost dying and people around the world she doesn't even know read about her life. Open another browser if you wanna do some research.

Anyways, I've composed a list of what I imagine it takes to become a person with a world-renown blog. Here you go:

1. Having a theme/ explicit purpose for the blog; preferably one that the readers can read to apply in their lives. I.e., crafty how-to's, photography displays, humorous observations about life (kids these days can't get enough of those sites like MLIA or whatever it is,) and political discussion blogs people will want to read to form an opinion and sound smart about some issue.

_I just learned about that last kind on Thursday, when my professor read a Phoenician blogger's post on the new legislation passed in our little old state of Arizona. In this instance of a politics-oriented blog one must be extremely careful to not end up sounding like some crazy person blabbering on in a way that no one wants to read. That wouldn't make you popular, but immensely unpopular.

2. Already being famous. People love reading whatever Lady Gaga or Dennis Quaid feel about other celebrities and paparazzi.

_Disclaimer: I have absolutely no idea if those two peeps have blogs, I just wrote the names of whoever popped into my head first.

3. Having a wonderfully unique layout and/or graphics. You know, making one's own instead of using the templates given by the blog site. (I am much too technologically challenged to figure out how to do this.)

4. Having crazy cool writing skillz.

If you are reading this blog now, you are well aware my bloggy meets absolutely none of these requirements. So my blog will remain uncool and not famous. But, it's because of this I urge you to read my blog anyway; isn't it usually when people do the uncoolest things that they become the coolest people? I think that's the widely accepted hipster theory.

so, reading my blog= being a hipster

...have a certain disdain for hipsters? that means you're holding onto self hatred, on account of the above scientific findings

basically, you're generally delightful

My Aunt Inspires Me

{This is my beautiful Auntie and my cousin Jakey- don't let the facial hair fool you, i am older than him. I love them }

her hardwork helps provide for her family and spills into every aspect of her life.
...she is a midwestern mom working a factory job. her and my uncle get up at 4:30am each weekday to drive to their jobs and manage to live life after working all day rather than collapsing in exhaustion like i think i would in that circumstance.




my aunt is incredibly kind and loving to everyone.
...she uses her resources well, often gently encouraging others to act in service for one another.
example: her neighbors, a retired pastor & his wife had their 50th anniversay this summer. auntie found out they wouldn't be celebrating and asked if she could organize a party for them. she made it a potluck and invited everyone to a backyard bbq at her home in honor of the elderly couple. i cried after my mommy told me the story; for some reason this story oozes with love and compassion when i think of it.
...to me, she exemplifies the overlooked phenomenon of midwestern hospitality. she can be a bit rural rough, not afraid to invade someone's "personal space" in order to connect with them, be friendly, and show genuine love.



i'm not sure if my auntie truly loves Jesus and trusts in the righteous God; at times this makes me sob. whenever we talk about Christianity, she seems to go very broad with responses. i don't see how someone so loving, compassionate, kind, and understanding doesn't believe in the Jesus that gave us examples of this behavior.
...she has been hurt by the Church. my uncle and her have told me they would become members of a church if all the ones they've gone to didn't require/ enforce a specific tithe, with the idea that the decision should be made by the individual. still, she is supportive and proud of my walk with Jesus.





ps_ i will be on a plane to China in 48 days!

it's the little things...

here are some "little things" that have been big to me in the last coupla weeks:

-dance party with my mom to lady gaga's 'bad romance' during our california roadtrip

-my little brother taking me to his favorite place in phoenix to look at the stars and sparkling north valley from a neighborhood mountain top

-driving through phoenix with the sun roof open with my bro

-warm, loving smiles and grilled sandwhiches in a friend's backyard

-my fake grandma telling me stories of her childhood

-a conversation about marriage and love with two friends i care deeply for

-singing 'i'll fly away' at this week's large group

-being told my teeth are distractingly white

-going to a fake senior portrait shoot around flag

-a 20minute jillian michaels shred workout this morning (thought i would die at the time, but now soo glad i did it!)

-a boy reading the Bible and wanting to put God as the focus of his life; witnessing this is in my small group

-wearing my roomate's cool leather jacket

-studying the roles of mary& martha in the Bible during the sermon at my phoenix home church

...the list could go on and on, but i'll stop there :}